10 things I observe about Men – (They are the same everywhere!)
I spoke recently at SIBKL Men’s Encounter Weekend. I have been actively...
My Top 5%
I shared in the last meeting about “Good Intentions are not Good Enough!” I...
One shot and one chance in their life!
I made this status update on my facebook this week: Make time for your...
Men’s Encounter Weekend 2012
I can still hear the applause I heard on the last day during testimony time.
Success That Matters
- Discovering the leader for Christ within you for your home and work
- Do a free online DISC leadership profile and get an impressive self assessment report. This will help you understand yourself and learn to communicate and relate better with people of other styles.
- Activate these leadership styles in your home as a husband and dad.
- Learn to walk in your calling as a Christian and and build an inner circle of like minded men.
- Bonus session (ladies take note!) – Staying best friend with your wife.
Michael J. Griffin, CEO of Equipping Leaders for Asia (www.equippingleadersasia.org), assists pastors and professionals to raise up and equip servant leaders for the Great Commission. ELA develops and delivers Christian Leadership Development Processes for churches, missionary groups, parents, young leaders and businesses. He also helps pastors and businessmen equip leaders of churches and ministries across 21 nations across the Asia Pacific region. His mission is to serve his customers to help them “lift their lids” in the professional, family and spiritual areas of their lives. He loves DUMC church and the Holy Spirit passion the congregation has for loving, worshipping and serving Christ.
We had an interesting series of sermons on Cohesive Family, Fathers’ Day (Honoring Your Father), Building Strong Marriages and Building Strong Homes. You can click the links above to DUMC’s YouTube channel if you have not listened to the sermons. Share the links with your friends who may need to be encouraged!
At Men Alive!, we have been going through “The Quest for Authentic Manhood” by Robert Lewis. The four topics are:
1. A Biblical Definition of Manhood (31 May 2014)
2. Facing the Father Wound (28 June 2014)
3. The Overly Bonded Mother Wound (26 July 2014)
4. Making a Healthy Break with Mom (23 Aug 2014)
Pastor Robert Lewis helps us explore the complexities of how our fathers and mothers had affected us, whether in a positive or negative way. It may just be the healing that we need in our life. As men, we are journeying together in secure atmosphere of camaraderie, safety and security, that no one will judge us.
We are all products of our upbringing. Our parents influence us more than we think. We have learnt in MA the concept of “Father Wound” and “Mother Wound”. Father Wound is caused by his absenteeism. A son need to hear his father say to him three essential things for his life: “I love you” (affection), “I am proud of you” (admiration) and “You are good in what you do” (affirmation). God the Father said this to His Son. (Matthew 3:16-17)
Mother Wound on the other hand is unintentional because of her own wounds in life. The wound is unlike that of absenteeism of the dad, but a wound disguised as being overly protective in loving and caring for her son. It is like a paper-cut that you cannot see but will feel later in life. He either becomes domineering and controlling towards other women, or passive and submissive. That’s why as we joke about the fact that a young man often marry someone like his mother, and vice versa for a young woman, it is no longer funny when we hear of the pains of married.
In the session on “The Overly-Bonded With Mother Wound”, we talked about the need to have two significant breaks with mom – physical and emotional. This wound is defined as: “An unhealthy emotional relationship with mom that causes a son to either be threatened by the influence of women later on in life or to over-identify and become submissive to that influence.”
We explored the characteristics of this wound: subtle, disguised as love and care, looks like love but feels like control and it can wrongly shape or warp the masculine psyche.
We also talked about how this wounds occur:
a. It often begins with an absent or distant father.
b. It can also be influenced by one of four types of Moms:
- Ignorant Moms
- Needy, Hurting Moms
- Unwilling to Release Moms
- Fill in the Gaps Moms
a. Men become dominant and controlling toward women.
b. Men become passive and submissive toward women.
This wound exists still in men no matter what age they are in. One 60-year came up to me after the session: “I think I may still be suffering from this wound.”
How do we then make a healthy break?
Interested to find out what a cohesive family in truth and faithfulness is like as a core value of DUMC? What is the biblical theology behind it and how do you practically apply it?
I will show you the biblical basis and the roles of husbands, wives, children and fathers from the New Testament.
Click here for Conference flyer.
Morning Devotions: Pr Daniel Ho
Session 1: Authentic Manhood (Pr Philip Lyn)
Session 2: Sexual Purity and Temptations (Pr Philip Lyn)
Session 3: Unforgiveness and Bitterness (Pr Tim Loh)
Session 4: Financial Struggles and Breakthrough (Pr Tim Loh)
Date: 3-5 April 2014 (Thursday 8pm – Saturday lunch)